Live like a Tourist!

Live like a tourist!

When I visited my old college after 2 years, I suddenly noticed an intricate detail on the balcony window of the corner building. Even though I have walked this street thousands of times, I have completely failed to notice it! Which made me wonder... what else have I missed walking with my head down? In a sidewalk full of people trying to get by you or a crowd waiting for the pedestrian signal to turn green, can you tell the difference between a tourist and a local? My observation is that people walking with their head down are locals; people walking with their heads up are travelers!

I have met many people who have not seen world renowned tourist sites in their hometown, but have travelled greatly to other places! To youths in Europe, America is “modern, happening, open-minded” country. Whereas Americans believe that living/travelling to Europe is “infinitely cooler”! We often take the place where we live for granted, don’t we?

Travellers get excited about each corner of the city. Their camera click every little details on the building, mail boxes, buses, phone booths, trams, train stations and even the sewage covers on the sidewalks! For travelers, it’s about enjoying the journey, and for locals it’s about getting to the destination as fast as possible. However, if we decide to see our local town with traveller's lens, we can have the best of both worlds. Let's fuel some enthusiasm in the same boring commute and stir some excitement.
Being at a new place is awesome, but there is nothing more thrilling than being able to see the “same-old” thing/place/day with a new light! Did you know that just walking on the different end of the street (ie. right sidewalk, vs. left sidewalk) can greatly change your perspective of the street? Try it!

Diving into Details: at Prague, July 2012

Here is what travelling has taught me so far: 

• Before you decide where you should go, you should evaluate where you are coming from. Only then you would be able to better appreciate where you are/will be. [also true for life...]
• People make places, not the other way around. 
• Travelling is a challenging mission, only a rare few will be able to mentally accompany you. Choose your company wisely! 
• Your camera has seen it all, but have you? Limit your photography temptations, so you can truly enjoy the experience beyond what fits in a 4X6 frame. 
• By only comparing: you waste your time. 
• By acknowledging the differences: you learn. 
• and ONLY when you start noticing similarities... you come to wonderful realizations. 

Next time you take an evening walk in your neighborhood, put on your curious hat and fill your eyes with a sparkle of a tourist. I guarantee that your experience will be close to winning a free vacation package on a remote island! :P
Bon voyage!

The sun rises from the west...

The rise of SANSKRIT IN GERMANY

Have you travelled somewhere, and experienced the discomfort of not understanding a laguage being spoken around you? It's quite frustrating. However, today I am writing this note to share an experience that was beyond frustrating.

Past Friday, I took time off work and attended the closing ceremony of Summer school in spoken Sankrit at South Asian Institute, Heidelberg University,Germany. It was a relatively small event with big undertaking. 13 students from all over the world attended this 2 week long intensive course in spoken Sanskrit.  At the event, they presented long speeches, a sanskrit play, and sang many subhashitas in Sanskrit. The entire program was conducted in Sanskrit.

Now, if I say that apart from 3-4 students, majority of students were NOT from South-Asian origin, would you believe it? It was not some Youtube video, I actually experienced it live. The group of students included professors, professionals from different area, and different religious background. When I talked to students, I learned that for some of them their sole motivation was their interest in this langugae and all forms of wisdom it leads to! And on the other hand, we sit in our homes, our schools and education institutions... and question, why should we learn Sanksrit?

I reached there, the program started and the first presenter was a student from Leipzig University, German origin... read a 10 page long speech...completely in sanskrit. I was sitting there, trying very hard to make sense of it all, but I could only understand it in parts. This moment was beyond frustrating when I realized that this is not German, French, Italian, or English...its *Sanskrit*, it's my own language, and yet I cannot understand it.

When a German person speaks German to me, and I don't understand...I can live with that. But what could be more embarrassing then a German person speaking Sanskrit in front of me, and I do not understand a word of it!!! 

An orthodox christian presenter said this in sanskrit, " Like fruits depend on the tree, and a tree depends on the roots... sanskrit is the root of Bharat, and without Bharat the world will be poor."

Should we sit and wait some more years, we shall see a day when more people of non-south asian origin will be knowing/speaking/studying sanskrit than the people who it absolutely belongs to... but they have massively failed to value it.

I felt more "closer to home" that day, than I have felt in many years!

***
Related article: Why Should My Child Study Sanksrit? (Extreamly eye opening article, must read!)

Coming Up Next...

Coming Up Next
When I passed 7th grade, I was told "aa! that was nothing, wait until you are in high school!" In 12th grade I was warned, " oh! this is just a start, watch out for university!" After getting two degrees from top institutions in my country, today, I am cautioned, " Blah! This is peanuts compare to what you will face in the real world!"

Notice the trend here? We are genetically and socially wired to think that the next step is harder, more difficult, and more challenging than the one we have just finished taking. Is it really? My recent realization is that it's not always the case. How challenging is putting your left foot forward, once you have already landed your right foot on the ground? .... If anything, it's easier. For all these years, I was living in an illusion that the next step is much harder than the previous one, just because it's "coming up next".

Regardless of how hard the next step is, this entire attitude of fearing your incompatibility to what is coming next, is highly destructive. Instead we should adopt the perspective, that what I have accomplished so far, has made me capable of dealing with the next phase in my life. Yes, I have new challenges but may be,just may be, I am also blessed with new motivation, new friends, new direction and new guidelines along the way. Have I failed to notice these?

The key word is "new". Because we are stepping into a new zone, ( not any "harder" or "easier" per se), that novelty (unknown) is the root of our fears. But if and when it is geared properly, the same "unknown" can create much needed spark in our routine oriented life!

When infants learn to roll over, sit up, crawl, stand up, and finally start walking... Every step of their development is celebrated as a milestone of the next. There are milestones laying around all over the sand of time and on the beaches of our lives. All we need to do, is acknowledge them, appreciate them, celebrate them!

Next time you get nervous about what is coming up next try repeating this to yourself:  " oh! the hard part is already over! I have already learned how to stand, so now walking is easy!" :)

Cheers to our lives made easy!

Exercise Expectations

PART I: I have potential
At any stage in life, we often feel like the ant squished under a mountain of expectations. Even as a child we are expected to behave a certain way. Although we cannot make everyone happy, and fulfill all the expectations bestowed upon us, we must learn not to let them effect us in a negative way. There are two ways of looking at it 1) I am not good enough. or 2) I have potential to be better. Our happiness depends upon how we choose to think.

When I think about expectations on other entities in this universe, expectations on me seems quite minor. For example, the sun is expected to rise at a certain time. The whole world depends on sunlight to wake up, to eat, to grow and to live. Wow! What a huge responsibility? Though, I wonder if the Sun ever feels the burden of expectations like we do. Probably it doesn't, because it has made those expectations part of its identity. In fact, it is not that we expect the Sun to rise, but the one which rises every day, we call it the Sun. Similarly, our character should define the type of expectations we receive from others. 

Also, the Sun does not care if you wake up when it rises, it rises anyway. It doesn't wait for you to finish work before it sets, it sets anyway. Whether you expect or not, it spreads warmth anyway. When a quality is woven in our character, even if people stop expecting/caring/paying attention on that aspect of our personality it remains with us. The burden of expectations will stop being the burden the day we will realize them as our potential. The day we are able to accept that this is who I should be, I want to be and I will strive to be. We certainly cannot entertain every expectation that comes our way, but we must choose a few and take them as a starting point. Let the expectations upon us draw a guideline for our behavior and eventually guide our character development. 

PART II: Relative Expectations

The bulk of expectations that matters to us the most are usually from our friends and family. So, I have decided to discuss expectations specifically in the context of relations.

Why do we expect on the first place? My theory is that our expectations are directly proportional to our investment. Just as our investment of time and money in education comes with a certain career expectations, our investment of time and emotions in relationships accompany expectations. I view relationships as an emotional investment. We don’t expect the same from someone we just met versus our friends and family members. Why? Because we have not invested as much (time, efforts, sentiments) in the person we just met as oppose to those we have known for a while. It’s as simple as that!

Often we feel unhappy because we are not getting the same bang for our buck. We “feel” that we have invested so much in certain relationships and are not getting enough return. Our sky-high expectation for perfection from our loved ones is impossible to meet! It is not that we don’t get a proper return for our investment... the trouble is that we foolishly overestimate our investment, and underestimate our gain. Our terrible accounting skills are the root cause of our unhappiness, especially when it comes to emotional accounts.

Let’s remember that as a human being we all expect, and we always will. Where there is love, there are bound to be expectations. Therefore, love beyond expectations is extremely rare, challenging and considered an element of divinity. Paradoxically, the place where we are closest to finding such selfless love is also our family and friends. To expect is humanity, to not expect is divinity. Therefore, find peace in knowing that the only person we should expect from is our own selves and the only expectation we should bestowed upon ourselves is to expect nothing at all.

On a Long Drive!

J- for Journey

It is so easy to gain a narrow perspective in our life, and even easier to focus on yourself, here and now. When I had the following two conversation with different people (Names have been changed to protect their identity), I felt like I have woken up from a dream and finally shook hands with reality. I want to extend this feeling to my readers and have you enjoy this post...

***

On Suzie’s 50th birthday:
Me:  Hey, congratulations... 50th b'day is great, you have achieved so much. Great family, Great job, everything is settled, you have everything, you have got nothing to worry about.
Suzie: well, you still have something I don’t have.
Me: What’s that?
Suzie said:  Options. You still have all the options open in your life. Take advantage of it. 

***

"Dare to Fly" at London Jun 2012

I was completely taken back, and did not realized what I had was so valuable. From my perspective my options created confusion in my life. Not knowing what's next can be frustrating. Being stuck in a temporary failure cycle when u are trying to find/define your niche can be mentally draining. However, when I saw myself from her perspective, I felt like I had wings... I could practically fly anywhere ! 

***

Jasmine is 23. She is educated from a top university, found a well paying job, has a perfect boyfriend, and her parents are really well off (happy and enjoying their life).
Me: Hey, you are so young, and you have everything laid out for you. How awesome is that?
Jasmine: That’s what. There is nothing to look forward to in my life. It’s all saturated. At least you have something to look forward to.
***
She was right. Not being happy with what we have and where we are is one thing. But the fact that we need someone else's misery to realize the value of what we have is plain pathetic. What a shame!

Since then I realized, that even after reaching a destination, the one thing we miss the most, is the journey itself. We always need something to look forward to in our lives. The most difficult part is not reaching a destination but choosing to accept that you have arrived. Choosing to see and realized that where you have reached is where you needed to be and wanted to be on the first place. The most difficult part is defining your destination, and remembering that definition when you have arrived. [ For example, the difficult part is not falling in love, or being in love, but probably the most difficult part is choosing to admit it. ;) ]

The ideal destination is not where the journey ends, but from where a new journey can begin.  We might feel that others around us are happier than us, because they have reached their destination (by finding their passion, obtaining their dream job, or finding a true love), but if we look closely, where they have reached are only pit-stops in this long journey of life. And the key to happiness is to take life as a LONG DRIVE...and be in the constant search of new roads we can explore, it could be a hobby, a passion, a dance class, computer software, reading a book, learning a new language... or just simply being a better person. 

Congratulate yourself for having a LIFE... that IS A JOURNEY of infinite destinations...!

***
Related quotes:

• "It has been said that we need just three things in life: Something to do, Something to look forward to and someone to love."- Maya Angelou (American Author and Poet)

• "The powerful motivator in our lives isn’t money; it’s the opportunity to learn, grow in responsibilities, contribute to others, and be recognized for achievements."-Frederick Herzberg

Sorry, I am busy!

Friends, this post is not written by me per se. Though, it fits well with the purpose of this blog. and No matter, when , where or how many times we read it... It is a great reminder! So, next time we are too busy to have coffee with our friends... we must ask ourselves... do we have our priorities straight? Enjoy the read...

*******************************************************************************
A STORY:
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. 

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - family,children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions – Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else --The small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are important to you. 

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play With your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled 'I'm glad you asked'. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,

There’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Passion for Life

Passion flower from a passion fruit vine

Passion= Cause + Courage + Commitment

“Everyone dies, but not everyone lives!”

Really, what does it require for us to live? Air, water, food, money?  I would argue - a passion!  

Every morning I wake up, but the day I want to get something done... I GET UP! 

Every night I fall asleep, but when I have a plan for the next day... I go to bed!

And that is the difference between existing and living. 

Apart form some extremely lucky individuals who have found their passion, most of us are in the boat with a torch searching for our passion. Let me share a personal, real-life conversation that has inspired this article.

An aged woman: Hey, how are u Zarna?
Me: Yah, everything is good but I am waiting to find my passion.

An aged woman: Though, make sure it is not too late. You know, one day u will turn 40, and your life will slowly start sleeping away; then, you will realize that your true passion is... life itself! When you are in your sixties, all you would want to do is ... LIVE few more years...then, just few more and then few more!

That's when I realized that Life itself is our #1 passion! 

We may be on a scavenger hunt searching for our "passion" without realizing that we are already living one!

Still, just to calm down all those people bombarding us with, " find ur passion", " life is nothing without passion", etc...etc... Here is my insight into how we can pave our passion. Because in my opinion- passion, like other virtues, can be developed over time. It is a combination of cause, courage and commitment. And by this definition, anyone who develops a courage to commit to a cause, can develop  a passion.  

So, its as simple as A, B, C. Just pick a cause, and develop courage to commit to it. In this ever so messed up world, we may run out of resources, but we will never run out of causes to fight for. If you are in doubt, check out this innovative initiative, "pick a fight" started by everyday people like you and me. http://www.pickafight.in/  

 " We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are willing to die for it."- Che Guavara

Make your Passion the brand new Fashion! :-) 
___
If you have found your passion, kindly share in the comment section for the readers  of this blog! Thank YOU!

Religion: Fragrance of Life

Indeed, religion is a fragrance of life. It adds a plus value to our daily routine, which creates the zeal towards living. As the saying goes, it is not how long you live, but how you live that is important. If we want to learn the art of healthy living, religion can be the easiest way to achieve that goal. To live life at its best, we must understand the value of religion in our life.

But, how can religion be essence of life, when there are so many wars fought in the name of religion? The forces that give rise to riots and communal violence usually have little interest in religion itself. They use religion as a tool to fight their own personal battle of power, pride and money. As a result of these incidences, today the masses have stopped believing in religion all together. People now think that moving away from religion and taking God out of their life would be a better idea to solve problems. Has it solve anything?

The word 'religion' has a root word in Latin "religare", which means to be bound, or re-bound. Religion is a boundary, a set of guidelines within which we all must act. More like a code of conduct, following which can lead to content living. Contrary to the common perception these days, religion may or may not have to do with belief in God.  We may choose not to take sides of religious wars by boycotting the belief that "God is fearful", but we shall not ignore the core idea of religion which is to follow one's duty.

The byproduct of our suspicion in God's existence had us started ignoring and compromising our duties as citizens, family members, teachers, doctors, and students. We have become close minded and self-centered to the point where even if someone has done something good for us, we suspect their intentions. We have simply lost belief that unconditional love or aid exists! We are taught from childhood to focus solely on our self-interest. This is the reality we live in- half the world is ready to die in the name of religion, and the other half has started discarding the name of religion from their life.

The choice is ours: we can eliminate the religion and lose the guidelines to the ultimate happiness or apply the fundamental principles of religion in our life and discover happiness in any given situation. The bound of religion is like holding on to a rope by which we can walk through the darkest tunnel and the trail by which we can find our way in the densest forest. When we hold onto a religion our journey becomes much smoother through sorrow and happiness. Above all, religion provides that perfect attitude towards life which can motivate us to live and to live with pride. Religion is the revised vision: vision of life, society and the future.
____

As published in April 2009 issue of Superior Star Magazine
Written during the final year of undergraduate, University of Toronto.